so i am at work and i am behind the counter by myself for a short while – which is so strange – to be alone and at work – to be responsible for whatever happens – i also keep thinking of how quickly life has changed for me – four months ago i was in front of a classroom – now i am behind a counter – it seems like a whole other lifetime ago – like i am not that person anymore somehow -

customer time….gtg

so i am – for the millionth time in my life – going down on coffee – to which my dear friend julia decided was some kind of coffee pornography in the making – which i can verify the untruth of here and now – me and coffee broke up years ago – this is just the caffeine thing – i swear

at any rate – i sit here in front of my computer – stressed out and messy over life things – like taxes bills and that sort of thing – and i am not looking at my delicious creamy fresh cup of coffee – nope – i look now at tea – plain old tea – and i look at this tea longingly to wake me up and to provide me with the comfort and stability that coffee provides – but also – to regulate my jitters – to not stress me out or fuck with my brain – i wonder if its capable – i wonder if coffee will notice i have not indulged this morning – i wonder if coffee is mad

my name is diana and i have a coffee problem -

i would rather do these things than go to work

1 – read kurt vonnegut all day

2 – read blogs

3 – paint my nails

4 – sew new clothes for myself -

5 – watch bad 80’s movies with people named cory in them

6 – take a bubble bath

7 – make homemade pizza

8 – listen to LOUD music and dance

9 – paint things

10 – make mix cd’s for all my friends

but instead i am going to work